Lokitty
Summary: Loki attempts to get his revenge. Hilarity ensues. (Izanami is walking around the Dark Realm, with the energy chains attached to her legs, bored out of her skull after a boring card game with a chained up Kukulkan, Eris, Achlys and Daji. She then sees Loki, who is kneeling over something.) Izanami: What did you find? Is it a way out? *she walks over to him* Loki: No...but we may not need a way out anymore. Izanami: Huh? (She looks at what Loki is kneeling at. It's a small puddle of water that shows a small oak tree.) Izanami: ...is this HD? Loki: Uh, no. It's sort of...a crystal ball. But in water. Izanami: Huh? Loki: See, I was able to channel my power through the Book of Tricks to create this. Now, if I'm right, we should be able to get our revenge. Ereshkigal: Can you give more details? Loki: Well, it's a bit complicated, but...here, let me sum it up. In Egyptian mythology, the gods could take mortal hosts, and those hosts would have varying relations. For example, in one lifetime, the gods Osiris, Isis, and Horus were siblings. When those mortal hosts died, the gods took new forms, and Osiris and Isis became husband and wife. Horus was born into his new life as their son. Izanami: ...er...what? Loki: Nevermind. The point is, if I'm right, we should be able to use this puddle to gain mortal hosts of our own. And if I'm extra right, you'll be able to communicate with me via said puddle. If I can just muster enough power, these stupid energy chains are restricting them (Loki begins building up as much power as he can and suddenly his eyes start glowing.) Loki: 'YES! YES! I DID IT! I'M A- What the what?! '(He looks at his host body and realizes that he's a cat.) Loki: 'NO!!! But wait! This small seemingly harmless host can trick others! HA! Now to get my revenge on those little ingrates! '(His cat host body flops over onto his face and begins moving forward by pushing himself forward with his hindlegs.) Loki: 'Why to I have the sudden urge to lick my nuts? '(His cat host body does so and he continues stumbling around like a drunk Russian teenager on vodka. Some people around him takes out their phones and laugh at the weird cat.) Loki: 'Fools! How dare you laugh at me?! I AM LOKI! GOD OF FIRE AND MISCHIEF! '''Lokitty: '''MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW! '(His cat host body simply begins meowing out randomly which causes more people to laugh at him. Suddenly someone picks him up, it turns out to be Lian Hua.) Lian Hua: 'Are you lost little baby? '''Loki: '''I AM NOT A BABY!!! '''Lokitty: '''Meow meow meow meow meow! '''Lian Hua: '''Awww...wanna come home with me? '(She brings the Lokitty to her luxurious apartment. There are several micropropagated plants, artist easels, awards and high tech computers.) Lian Hua: 'Alright why don't you go and get to know your new siblings? Cookie and Cinnamon. Mommy has some art clients to talk to and some flowers to arrange. As well as a conference call as a social security consultant. '(2 cats approach the Lokitty and begin sniffing him.) Loki: 'Yes! Reinforcements! COME WITH ME MY FELINE BRETHREN! '''Lokitty: '''MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW! '(The two cats just look at him confusingly. So he decides to make his point clearer by climbing onto one of the shelves and attempting to push one of Lian's many botanist and artist trophies. But he falls of the shelf and face plants onto the floor.) Loki: 'Damn it! Okay, how do I get up? '(He tries to move his legs but Lokitty only ends up scooting on his butt. Then the was trying to walk on his hindlegs only to constantly flop over. Lian walks back in and notices this. She quickly takes her phone out and films the whole thing while laughing uncontrollably. Lokitty suddenly leaps out of the window and lands in a pile of reject bread sticks at the back of a Mexican restaurant.) Loki: 'Can this be anymore humiliating? '''Shade Falcon-de Kan: '''Aw! A kitty! '''Loki: '''Oh no. '(Shade picks up Lokitty and brings him home. He shows him to his mothers, puchi and golden retriever, Max.) Shade Falcon-de Kan: 'Moms, can we keep him? '''Aira de Kan: '''I don't know sweetie, I don't want you to get rabies. And we already have Max. '''Shade Falcon-de Kan: '''Oh, but can we keep him until we can find a home for him? '''Aura Falcon: '''Sure thing honey. '''Shei-kun: '''Shei! (Yay!) '(Lokitty notices a knife on the cutting board that Aura was just using to cut some apples. He jumps onto the counter and tries to pick up the knife, only to flop on the floor yet again.) Aura Falcon: '''Shade honey, are you sure that cat's alright? '''Shade Falcon-de Kan: No. Shei-kun: '''Shei...(It's weird) '''Loki: *groans* Izanami: *off-screen* ...mi to Loki? Izanami to Loki? You there? Loki: Izanami?! Oh thank the gods. Izanami: Oh, good, you were right, you can hear me. Also, I'm seeing the world through your eyes in this puddle. It's, ah, pretty cool. (Shade picks up the Lokitty and brings him to the vet with his parents. Lokitty is of course very upset about this and attempts to hide in the trashcan only to find out that he was too fat.) Vet: 'Okay so, he's having trouble with his motor skills and he's not fixed or had his vaccines yet? '''Aura Falcon: '''Yes, our son found him on the streets and we decided to foster him, so we're just trying to figure out what's wrong with him. '''Loki: '''What's wrong with you?! UNHAND ME HUMAN! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! '''Lokitty: '''Meow meow meow meow meow meow. '(The vet takes an x-ray of Lokitty but finds nothing out of the ordinary. She gives him his vaccines and gives him some sleeping gas. When Lokitty wakes up he realizes that his nuts are gone and that he's wearing a giant plastic cone around his neck.) Loki: 'FOOLS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?! '''Lokitty: '''MEOW MEOW MEOW! '''Aira de Kan: '''I don't think he's very happy with the cone. '''Loki: '''YOU THINK?! YOU WHAT THAT'S IT! I GIVE UP! '(Loki returns to his body in the Dark Void. He angrily destroys the puddle and walks over to Fenrir to Sulk. The screen fades black.) Category:Fan Webisodes